Probably thought you had gotten rid of me, eh? You aren’t so lucky. Actually, you are, because this will likely be my last post for a very long time, perhaps forever. I’ll get into all that, but first…
An Apology
When I was enlisting some of you to be alpha and beta readers for my project, I asked you if you would be interested in a signed copy of the final product when it was ready. Most of you said yes, emphatically, even. And yet, nearly a year after I published, I’ve gotten less than half of those who signed up a signed copy.
Is it because I couldn’t afford it? No, fortunately. Instead I let the seeming hugeness of the task deter me. This may sound silly, but the thought of going to a post office or UPS/Fedex store to actually ship things makes me feel like I’m walking in three feet of mud. I have no idea why this is. It’s not a particularly difficult process, it’s just… UGH.
So instead I spent a few hundred bucks on Amazon ads, hoping it would spur the massive surge in readership I’d dreamed of which would turn into a book deal which would give me enough money to justify quitting my day job and hiring a full-time assistant to whom I could say, “Please, go wade through three feet of mud for me.”
It’s really not that hard. Simply reflecting on the fact that there are several dozen people out there who actively want a signed copy of something I made should fill me with energy. And actually it does, I just really really hate going to the post-office okay?
Anyway, my plan of getting rich and making someone else do the drudgery was ill-conceived and implemented even worse. So now I’ve got to go back and do what we call in the industry, a make-good. And it only took abject failure for me to see the error of my ways!
So if you are reading this, and have not received a signed copy of my book, and for some reason still would like one, please just reply to the email. I just need your name, address, etc. And no, you don’t have to have been part of the alpha/beta. At this point, I’ll be happy if anyone has this on their shelf, because it’s a very small number of shelves. Woe is me. So it goes.
Which leads me to my next point…
Yes, My Book is Still Not Famous
Does this surprise you? It surprises me a lot less now than it did a few months ago. This might sound silly, but I legitimately had to go through a mourning period. I thought I’d just publish, get it in the hands of people I like, then it’ll just, you know, happen. Spoiler: it didn’t happen.
Turns out if you want a book to be a best seller you have to have good marketing! Well, I thought, I can probably make that work. So I did! I went to Amazon advertising, signed up for an account, and did all the things. And guess what? It still didn’t work!
You see, there’s something else you really need if you’re publishing it yourself. It’s usually this innate desire to work at any length to see your work succeed. You know what I mean, right? That drive to learn any new trick, beat the pavement, bully everyone you know into buying, rating, and promoting your book, join self-publishing groups, mail dozens of publishing agents customized query letters, or lacking all that, just be insanely rich and throw a gazillion dollars into the marketing. Oh you lack that too? Well guess you’re just out of luck!
The truth is, I lack the hustle mentality and the deep pockets. It took everything I had to finish actually writing/editing this novel, and now I’m expected to brag about it as a hobby? It’s just… not me. So I’ve done what I pretty much always do when faced with adversity which can only be overcome by changing my own nature — I gave up.
After a few hundred bucks and months of tweaking ad copy, bids, targeting, and trying to find that sweet spot of a conversion rate, I have only a dozen or so orders to show for it. And yeah, that’s cool that some randos have read/are reading/will read it, but it’s not enough for me to keep shelling out the cash when I have actual fans (like you?) who already told me they want a copy.
So yeah, giving up. The book isn’t a best-seller. I’m not famous. There is no book tour. Woe is me. So it goes.
Now that I’ve taken a commensurate amount of time whining, let’s move on, shall we?
Momentos
There were some cool things that happened as a result of my feeble attempts at marketing, and I did want to take a moment to highlight them.
Going International
Did you know that I’m huge in Sweden? And by huge, I mean there is literally one single person in Sweden who has verifiably read and rated my entire book series. I know because I reached out to him after I stumbled upon his unsolicited Goodreads review (Hi Daniel!). I can’t tell you how incredible it made me feel to just see those reviews happen. It felt validating, and still does. Thanks, Sweden.
The Anonymous Fan
All of the marketing I did was for the first book in my series, thinking that if people read that, they’d obviously want to keep going and get the rest. Right? Well, turns out, no. So amidst the one-every-once-in-a-while order I’d get for the first book, I kept looking for someone to organically pickup the second book. It wasn’t until December that I saw this on my orders report:
Yellow is book 1, red is book 2, blue is book 3, and green is book 4 on this chart. Yes, I know how maddening it is that they got the colors right for two of the books and not the other two, but that is neither here nor there. The point is that some rando bought the first book of the series, and then a couple weeks later, purchased the whole rest of the series at once. The high from this has yet to wear off.
Behold, The Duality of Man
I’ve also received two unsolicited reviews on Amazon as a result of the orders I generated through marketing. It’s… something of a mixed bag. Here, you can just look:
Let me start by saying that I actually agree with both of these reviews. You know what, I also happen to think Ersa is more interesting than Rayner. And yeah, the first book is actually pretty much just an introduction, and it is actually kind of confusing and boring. It doesn’t read that way to me, because, well, I wrote it so I know where it’s going and I like that part, but obviously I’m not everyone! If I could have made the first part a bit more polished, I’m sure it would have done wonders for the reception, but I didn’t, so it didn’t. Woe is me. So it goes.
Beyond the actual text of the reviews themselves, I am simply pleased that any stranger would go out of their way to leave a review at all. It’s nice? Even if it kinda hurts my feelings? And obviously I shouldn’t expect to get huge without taking my share of critical feedback— but wait I thought I gave up on that part why am I doing this to myself? I guess because all press is good press, right? I digress (constantly). Let’s move on.
What’s Next
Nothing, really. Seriously, no marketing, no more stupid ranty newsletter posts about woe-is-me-so-it-goes. I’m working on my next novel. I’ve got a chapter done, so yay. Just two more years to finish the first draft, and another three to edit, if it follows like the last one. Then again, it’s kinda already starting off slower than the last one. Shall we just assume we’ll catch up next decade?
I do so appreciate you being along for this journey of mine. I’m immensely proud of the work I’ve done, even/especially the failure. And I’m grateful. So grateful that it made an impact on at least a few people. That really is all the validation I need.
For now, it’s time to say farewell. I’ll just leave you with a song.
Gratefully yours,
Loren
P.S. Don’t forget to reply if you want a signed copy of my book. I don’t know for sure about timing, but it’s a mission of mine to make it happen, mud or no.
P.P.S. Today happens to be the fourth anniversary of the day I finished the first draft of Silver Mystic. Did I plan giving up on it to coincide on the same day I finished it? No, but happy accidents and all that.